Guys I am sorry

I am sorry that I have to do this in english, but if there is one thing my mind refuse to do it is talking danish, and I know my dad, my dear dad are getting crazybecause of it!!
I am sorry it has been so long since I blogged, but I have so much stuff in my head!
I am sorry that I promised to blog a lot and I didn't!
I am sorry that I haven't answered, haven't wrote back and that I have been absent from everything and everybody lately
I am sorry that I have to say I am sorry, and couldn't just have done it in the first way!
I am sorry, I am sorry, I am sorry!! But I am just confused, there is one part of me who look forward, abselutly can't wait till I am going back to Denmark, to my lovely life, my amazing parents, my caring family, and my awesome friends! But another part of me would give anything and everything to stay! To never see Denmark again! I know this sound horrible, but I am scared! I am scared of what to do, what to feel like, I wanted this (America) so bad, and now it is over or almost over! I have so many friends here, I have a family here, sports here, a school here, a community I LOVE!! But I love the one in Denmark too, but they are just so different, like night and day and that is what scares me!! I am scared that I have been forgotten, that I no longer have any friends, no family and nowhere to go! I know that is not true, I know I got the best friends in the world, a loving family and people who cares, but it just doesn't always feels like it! and in the same way I am scared that when I leave Mobridge-Pollock High, the Norder family, Mobridge, South Dakota, America, that I will be forgotten and that scares me bad, because I want to come back, because there are so many people and things I care about here!! I care about my friends, who did everything to make me feel welcome, I care about the school, who made my dream come true! I care about my hostfamily, both of them who took me in, made me feel at home! I care about a community so great, a community where I since day one have felt like I was welcome and even though it toke some time I feel like I belong.. And most of all I care about my self, and that is why I can't stop to wonder.. What now? What is the future gonna hold? I am scared!! It is actually a little silly because I went to America without knowing ANYTHING or ANYBODY! And I wasn't really scared, not that much though!! and now I am scared? of going home? To a place I lived for 15 years, a town I know better that my own backyard? Friends that have been there forever, since I was little, since I started school, since ya Forever! Friends I can trust, who I know cares and I am scared to go back to them? A family who was always there for me, a family who worked there buts of for me, who I know love me and who I love! A family who always supported me and looked out for me, and I scared to go back to them? But I am scared, I am scared! So scared I can't sleep at night, so scared that I can't think about anything else, and I don't know what to do!! It is like I am scared of all the safe, what dumb thing to be scared of!! But I am scared that the "safe" changed or how the "safe" is gonna change!!
I am sorry that I am scared!! - I am sorry I am no longer the same Siri!!